There's so much to learn about France and one can never pretend to know it all, or even a little. But what we can do is find the twist, the unsaid, the offbeat side of a situation or event.
So many things have been written about the French... we are proud, arrogant, rebellious, rude and on and on. Many of these things are true!
But we are defined by more than our personal characteristics by broader things that bind us.
Because if you want to drill down into France, make it your best friend, there's no getting around it... you'll have to make friends with its history, culture and lifestyle, its foods and traditions, its art, and yes, its genius.
France's present-day culture is colored by its history: this land has been settled forever, or at least since the Iron Age (we have evidence: many painted caves).
The region then known as Gaul was a key part of the Roman Empire (which they conquered from the Celts). Nearby, the Greeks flourished but then the Middle Ages happened, as elsewhere in Europe, and things went dark for a while, except for that part in 1066 when William of Normandy, a French subject, conquered England. It is a moment that changed the course of European history.
For centuries France waged war, growing and shrinking depending on its luck and skill, but mostly expanding.
We won't get into sorting every Louis from every Charles or Francis just yet – that's too complicated right now, especially since French royalty wasn't particularly fertile. Often, monarchs had to look well beyond their immediate families for successors, which makes French royal history almost impossible to follow.
But do not fear – we'll sort it a little later, when I talk to you about major historical events and monuments, which will make it all crystal clear.
A few famous names will linger throughout... Louis XIV the Sun King, who built Versailles and championed art, or Napoleon, who created an empire from the cinders of the French Revolution (anarchy, dethroned kings and the storming of the Bastille, remember?)
After Napoleon ignominiously lost to the British at Waterloo, the royals returned briefly but were ousted. And ousted again. And so the French Republic began. For now, we'll leave World Wars I and II aside, along with French post-colonialism, because all these feature prominently in many of the stories you'll be reading on this website.
Most of France speaks French as a native language, although there are minorities, like those who speak Flemish in the north or German in the northeast, Italian or Catalan in the southeast or Basque in the southwest or Arabic in the immigrant community. Each of these will get ample attention, don't worry.
Religion too is homogeneous in France, although slightly less so than language. About two-thirds of the country is Roman Catholic, at least nominally – which means they'll get married in church and attend funerals but stay away the rest of the year.
There are plenty of other faiths, particularly Islam. Perhaps the largest non-Catholic minority is the one which professes no religion at all.
France has many monuments worth seeing – everything from statues to chateaux to fortresses or private residences, all of them covered by the Monuments Historiques label, which dates back to 1837. By 1840, the first list included both buildings and objects (stained glass windows, for example) – a total of 1082 items. Today, there are more than 45,000, and here's an exhaustive (and exhausting) list of these monuments by department.
Art in all its forms is much loved in France; in some cities, you can't go a block without tripping over a museum and art in one form or another has been around forever, or at least since the Paleolithic (Lascaux caves, anyone?)
There followed a spate of artistry – illuminated manuscripts, Romanesque churches, enamels, Gothic cathedrals, the Renaissance and Baroque castles and paintings, classical architecture, the Romantics, Expressionists and Cubists, with Art Nouveau and Art Deco adorning our exteriors... and on it goes, right up to the modern-day monumental mural. Art in every form is revered in this country, but change is not, and two of them most delicious controversies spanning a century involved architecture: the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre Pyramid, both of which were reviled before eventually becoming beloved.
When the lavish Louis XIV (he who turned Versailles from a hunting lodge into a palace) ascended the throne in 1643, he was dressed in the fashion of the day: Spanish fashion. After all, most luxury goods came from abroad - silks and lace from Italy, tapestries from Belgium... French industry simply wasn't up to it.
But Louis quickly saw an opportunity and he plunged into the luxury market head first when he realized this was something that could help fill the country's coffers. These industries would eventually employ a third of Parisian workers, and guilds and protectionist measures would ensure things would be made in France rather than imported.
Now don't go thinking that France is an island, locked away from the world, lording it over others from its cultural pinnacle. Not at all. In fact, throughout its history, France has often felt the influence of other lands and would not be what it is today without having rubbed elbows with "les étrangers", foreigners.
Take, for example, the charming southeastern city of Aix-les-Bains: did you know Queen Victoria put it on the map? Possibly not. And there are many more examples we'll have an opportunity to explore. We are not as French as you might think...